D.C.’s Unsanitary Cupcakes

Georgetown Cupcake has become quite a sensation in D.C., Maryland, Virginia (and wherever those pesky tourists come from). Where did all the popularity come from? The flavor of the confectioneries or from the TLC reality show, D.C. Cupcakes? The behavior of the sisters on the show should actually be an adherent to customer traffic. Despite the fact Katherine is an alumna from my college who donates cupcakes to school events, I think these two are, to put it nicely, extremely overbearing.

I was there before the madness began. Three years ago located in a measly room almost as big as my apartment bathroom, Georgetown Cupcake operated without all the hype and popularity. The cupcakes were good, but the line was long. Not nearly as insane as the lines are now, but even on rainy days the line would stretch a few blocks. Then came the opening of their flagship store in Bethesda, Md. and the relocation from Potomac to M Street. The hometown sensation turned in a nationwide nightmare. Trying to get around Georgetown on a beautiful afternoon can be quite the headache thanks to the chaos that is caused by persistent tourists trying to get a bite of something sweet. This is why I prefer to venture to Georgetown at night.

Before I completely swore off these sweet treats, my friends and I went to Georgetown to visit a friend at work one gorgeous day in September. The school year was young, our hopes were high, the day was turning out to be perfect. An overpriced dinner and near frogger-like jay walking experience were the first clues that the night was about to turn scandalous. As we were heading back to the Rosslyn Metro station my friends and I decided to stop at Georgetown Cupcake. As we neared its facade, we noticed that they were closed. But something inside caught my eye. “What the hell?” “Is that a naked man in the kitchen?”

Well he was not totally naked, he had shorts on. I could not believe what I was seeing. Isn’t this breaking a health code violation or something? Beware folks, if you choose to continue purchasing cupcakes from this joint, I would suggest to look out for chest hairs while you’re smacking the sweetness around your mouth. At this point I’m not sure it would be very sweet…This also causes me to question: What was he doing in the kitchen without his shirt on after hours? Just seems weird to me. And I’m assuming will to a lot of other people. I’m not saying this happens all the time. It just happened to occur one night as I was leaving Georgetown.

After this shocking discovery I decided to turn my loyalties to a shop run by fully clothed hippies. Perfect. Baked & Wired is a bakery (duh…) that specializes in more than just cupcakes.  Their shop contains two sides: Baked and Wired. On the Wired side you can grab a cup of coffee or tea. The Baked side contains cupcakes, brownies, cakes, hippie crack (granola mixed with nuts and fruit), muffins etc.

The thing I like the most about Baked & Wired is that their cupcakes are huge, priced fairly and they have a variety of interesting flavors (chai tea latte cupcake please!). Another great “cupcakery” is Crumbs Bake Shop. When I don’t feel like hiking all the way to Baked & Wired in Georgetown I head to their Clarendon store. They again have a great variety of flavors and have different sizes! I’ve never seen this feature at a cupcake shop before, so I find it fascinating. Want a treat but don’t want to fill up on a HUGE cupcake (I’m talking huge 4 in. tall monster cupcakes)? They offer a taste size and classic size, the size of an average cupcake.

I’m not writing this to discredit the popularity of Georgetown Cupcake. They are cute and tasty cupcakes. I’m trying to convey that sometimes all the hype is not worth it. Just because a cupcake shop has a show or the longest line on M Street, does not mean they are the best bakery in town. While I don’t know what other bakeries do in their kitchens (I’m praying they are clothed), I will always be willing to try a new place out. Preferably one that doesn’t have a wait time of an hour, a line that stretches a few blocks and has possible body hair in the batter.

[As a side note: In case you were wondering why it took me It took me months to write something so scandalous 1. A newspaper is not going to accept an article "trashing" a beloved D.C. cupcake shop from a journalist who is still in college (yeah censorship does exist people...) 2. I got extremely busy with school and was not able to create this amazing blog.]